Waiter, there's a FLY on my head

 The hottest 2020 accessory is the fly. Perched on your head, it will distract most everyone from listening to what you're actually saying, which could probably be to your benefit in some cases.

You'll need:

Black worsted weight yarn

2 red beads

Plastic canvas

Small hair clip

Hot glue

Size D crochet hook (or whatever hook floats your boat)

HEAD/BODY

Rnd 1: Make an adjustable ring, ch 1, and sc 6 in the ring. Pull tail to close ring (6 sts)

Rnd 2: *2 Sc in next st, sc in next st, rep from * around (9 sts)

Rnd 3: *2 Sc in next st, sc in next 2 sts, rep from * around (12 sts)

Rnd 4: Sc in each st.

Rnd 5: *Sc2tog, sc in next 2 sts, rep from * around (9 sts)

Rnd 6: *Sc2tog, sc in next st, rep from * around (6 sts)

Fasten off and leave a long tail. No need to stuff. Thread the tail onto a tapestry needle and feed through to the beginning of the Body and out. Use to attach a red bead to either side of Head. Weave in ends. 

WINGS

With a black permanent marker, draw Wing shapes (teardrops) on plastic canvas. Cut out and glue to the back of the Fly.

ASSEMBLY

Using hot glue or your favorite craft glue, attach the Fly to the hair clip. Allow to cool/dry fully before placing the Fly atop your head. Now talk about something and see if anyone listens.

*This post is not meant to be political, like at all. Its all in good fun and who wouldn't want a little cute fly on your head anyway?